Servers Down...Again

Posted 1:30 Sunday 5th June 2007 (but not really, the servers were down)

I am curious as to what exactly is up, my various bitches? Sorry for the not posting for over a week. The world still revolved, men remained fertile, breakfast cereal continued to be gr-r-r-r-reat. In truth, I wanted to leave the link to the podcast in place for as long as possible. Anyway, I'm back now and there's a new comic up, complete with cartoon cleavage. Dude.

I don't really know any of this stuff for sure - I'm sure there's some forum thread or emergency e-mail warning system which for me exists in some hypothetical imagined realm but for the real cartoonists exists in a much more tangible space - but I think the servers are down again. At least, they are at time of writing and not for the first time this week. Some jackass clogged the tube-switcher with packing foam no doubt. I'm basing this on a not altogether foolproof method of experimentation. When I go to my own site I get a 404 error and if I go to any other CG comic the same thing happens. The control in this experiment is any other comic, like the excellent Comedity. The conclusion: Comic Genesis sucks so much it's more like Comic Deuteronomy. Yeah!

I can't really complain because I'm not paying for the webhosting. On the other hand, they're not paying me for the comic or for the privilege of placing epileptic ad banners on every page. We exist in a state of mutual symbiosis, each perpetually devouring the other in some sort of Möbius 69, Yin and Yang.

I'm fully aware there's something rather illogical about writing about a problem at a time when no-one can read it, especially if the problem is that no-one can read about the problem. However, I'm going to side-step the rationale and go for a more emotive approach. I want you to know that I care that you can't read the comic, that I understand your pain as you click the link that leads to your favourite strip, your eyes dancing with joy and anticipation, only to read "Internet Explorer cannot display the webpage". Suddenly the joy is gone, all that remains is a hollow, raking longing. What you are feeling is grief and the process which follows can only be described as mourning. Not mourning for a person but something that runs much deeper, the kind that comes from staring into the chasm the lies between How Things Ought to Be and How Things Actually Are. Reality has fallen short of the mark, your plans and expectations have amounted to nothing, and the resultant disappointment is earth-shattering. I am so very sorry.

Well, you may cease your grieving. If you're reading this - perhaps in 2008 - then the comic is back and the world makes sense again. I hope that the therapy was not too expensive.

In other news, I'm back up-to-date with the... updates. That is to say the date at which the comics appear will henceforth correspond with the dates at which they were supposed to appear. My friend Sophie - with whom you may be familiar at this point - has commented that she has missed a number of comics as a result of my post-examination game of catch-up so be sure to go back and read through May's offerings to ensure that, like Aerosmith, you don't miss a thing. Did you read the time-travel episode? What time-travel episode? Are you thinking of the same comic as me? What about the one before that? Can you even remember back that far? Remember: four hours of work went into making your two minutes of entertainment. Savour the experience, you don't know when the blind gods will snatch it away from you once again, leaving only the words: "Most likely causes: You are not connected to the Internet. The website is encountering problems. There might be a typing error in the address."

If you think about it, that's like not getting Christmas presents but instead getting a note from Saint Nicholas saying: "Maybe you weren't good this year. Or maybe I don't exist. How the fuck should I know?"

Hey, what is the sound of one hand voting?