First Impressions

Posted 17:33 (GMT) 29th November 2007

I've been calling it Cloverfield all along, even though that was supposed to be a working title. Before it had a name it was known only by its release date of 01-18-08. Which was stupid.

Sorry, I realise there are some people who may not know what the Hell I'm talking about. Cloverfield is a new film by Lost co-creator J. Jonah Abrams. Like Lost it has a monster in it. Like Lost nobody really knows what the monster is. Like Lost there's a huge amount of speculation on the internet as to what the fuck is supposed to be going on.

In fact, the film seems to be relying entirely on internet buzz to publicise itself. And (until recently) they've achieved this by not telling anyone what the film is about, what will happen, what the monster will look like or even what the film is called. So, what are the citizens of Internet Town supposed to be publicising here? Speculation, wild conjecture and the moronic re-assertion (in the face of common sense, reason and - I don't know - fucking fact) that the film is going to be about Godzilla. So, for the most part, idiocy and bullshit are going to propel this movie to greatness.

I'm actually looking forward to seeing this film. I've given up on Lost, having grown tired of the constant barrage of increasingly idiotic plot twists and having come to the realisation that the writers did not sit down and plan the whole thing out from the start - a fact which grows more obvious with every pseudo-philosophical line of bullshit quasi-mystical dialogue and every magical organisation/band of ghosts out to get the heroes for reasons which defy explanation, like everything else on that stupid magic island. That's right, the island's fucking magic. Now you know the secret. You see, there's no other explanation now which makes any sense whatsoever. It's just magic. Or magnets. Or the psychic powers of a chocolate coat hanger. Whatever explanation they eventually cough up it will amount to the same thing. Magic island. The problem with delayed gratification and story arcs that span years (a problem I am ever mindful of as I work on the strip) is that you're creating a bond of trust with your audience that cannot be broken - they trust you to;

1. not jump the shark before the story's through

2. deliver pay-offs which live up to the insane build-up

3. actually answer the audience's questions and not just leave things hanging for the sake of leaving things hanging!

At first people will tune in, desperate to find out what happens next. Back during the first two series it was a weekly ritual for my brother and I to watch Lost together and come all over the place when the opening titles appeared. But man can not live by suspense alone. Eventually, people will get wise to what you're doing and become disenchanted. So, anyway, I've Lost faith. But I haven't given up on J.J.

Mission: Impossible 3 was the best of the missions. On the one hand it didn't feel like the previous films - it felt like a really good episode of Lost. On the other hand, every plot point had been resolved by the end. I realised that Abrams is wasted on television. What's needed is that epic storytelling and suspense condensed into a shorter timeframe (say... 90 minutes). This is where Cloverfield comes in.

It's a film about a gigantic monster attacking New York! Told with integrity and realism! I can't wait! Surely that's enough. Do we need this endless speculation as to what the monster's meant to be, what the film's called, whether or not polar bears will be involved? It's invariably wrong. These clowns said Cloverfield was just a working title and look how that ended up.

I still don't know why morons on Youtube keep insisting it's going to be about Godzilla, either. Since when did buzz before a film release entail predicting that it's going to totally blow? How disappointing would it be if Godzilla was the monster? How about the fact that the guy who made the film explicitly stated that the monster was not Godzilla. I know looking for intelligence on Youtube is like looking for food in a septic tank but at what point do people become so stupid they forget how to eat and breathe? Do they get distracted half-way through blinking and convince themselves they've gone blind? It's ridiculous.

Anyway, if you stop the new trailer at a certain time - a magic time - you can see a tiny glimpse of the creature. It might just be falling debris. But it looks a bit like this picture floating around - purported Cloverfield concept art - which confirms what we all suspected. The Cloverfield monster is Sin from Final Fantasy X.

Review

Posted 20:00 (GMT) 6th February 2008

I saw Cloverfield at long last over the weekend. It was ass. 10 out of 10. See it.

I have a friend who fancies Cloverfield will divide audiences, that whilst it will have a strong cult following it will never achieve mainstream acceptance because nothing has really been made in the same genre outside of Japan. Without getting bogged down in the inevitable '97 Godzilla and Blair Witch comparisons, I really think that any division in the film's critical reception will be between those critics who enjoy well-written original cinema and those who are so God-damn clever and arty that they can pierce the veil of engrossing characterisation and plotting and see Cloverfield for what it is - a monster movie! And isn't that silly! Because monsters don't really exist.

To be honest, I don't think we should make distinctions between high-concept fantasy films and those with more mundane subject matter when both have artistic merit and both are presented so God-damn realistically. In fact, Cloverfield was more realistic than, say, The Holiday. Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz had one job: to act like humans. And they failed. Miserably. On the other hand, the most realistically presented and engrossing films I've seen recently have been Children of Men, I Am Legend and Cloverfield. What you have to appreciate is there's a greater challenge in taking something which hasn't happened and (in all probability) will never happen and presenting it convincingly than there is in making a film about something day-to-day like unrequited love or burnt toast. There wasn't a moment in Cloverfield when I didn't think that what I was watching was anything less than completely real. I'm probably just lucky that way, I have the ability to suspend disbelief as one would flip a switch. If you do read a sneering review - and they're out there - ask yourself if the reviewer has the same ability.

In short, there are two kinds of people: those who love Cloverfield and crazy people.

All content in this web-site is the property of Fourth Floor Comics and Copyright ©Fourth Floor Comics 2004-2012

Unauthorized use of any Life on the Fourth Floor materials including characters, images and texts is strictly prohibited.

Life on the Fourth Floor is hosted on Comic Genesis, a free webhosting and site automation service for webcomics. They specialise in annoying advertisements.