Avoid
The New Internet Explorer
Posted
16:02 (GMT) 12th March 2008
Here's
some news. I joined the Internet Explorer 8 beta, like an idiot.
It all started when I downloaded Flash version 9. After I’d
done that, it started breaking. Sometimes I would watch videos on
Youtube without the sound. Sometimes I would hit the Zero Punctuation
site only to have videos not appear at all. And David needs his
dose of Yahtzee. I was damned if I could find the old version of
Flash, either. So I had a better idea – instead of trying
to take a step backwards, I'll take a step forwards! And so I download
Internet Explorer 8. Like an idiot.
What
does it do that version 7 didn't? Well, mostly it breaks. It breaks
every time I use it. It breaks with alarming consistency. For example,
every time I try to access my favourites it breaks. I know it’s
a beta and therefore work-in-progress but I’m having a hard
time figuring out how it differs in any way to its predecessor?
Except that it doesn’t display web pages properly unless you
hit this little button – this button which is the only new
feature – a button called 'emulate IE 7'. So that’s
great. It only works when it’s pretending not to have changed.
And the only change is that it breaks. Always. So I had to uninstall
it and install version 7 again.
The
lesson? Don't install and version 9 of flash. And if you do, don't
install Internet Explorer 8.
Also,
don't get drunk in a library and take off all your clothes. No matter
how quiet you are, they'll kick you out anyway.
And
don't get married on a whim. Especially if the other person is of
the same sex and you're not gay.
And
don't swallow fish-hooks.
And
don't deliberately slam soft parts of your body in car doors.
And
don't try break-dancing underwater. That is all.
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